Flood - Day 5

Saturday - December 24th - Merry Christmas Eve!

(disclosure statement:please remember when reading this, all that I am going through, and the fact that genetically I am suppose to medicate and dont, running is my medication and that has not been happening)

Well it doesnt feel like Christmas, I cant find anything when I need it, I have spent more on food in the past 5 days than I should in a month.....And that is WITH the ward members providing a couple dinners, my couch is the drivers seat of my car, my kids think we are still on vacation, I am more tired and sore than if I not only ran a marathon, but as if I had done a full Ironman Triathalon, my husband and I agree on nothing, and I broke down when someone asked me what my address was.

But anyway - today is gonna be a great day! I woke up after sleeping like a baby and decided the best gift I could give myself was a run! I gathered my shoes, jackets, and what running gear I could locate and I headed out. I ran to Walmart because of course I have to get two birds with one stone, and had my daughter meet me there. Only about 4 miles but finally at the end of the 4 miles I started to feel like me again. Maybe that 1/2 marathon that I signed up for is still possible? I did some last minute christmas shopping which consisted of 2 things and then spent over $200 on things that we needed that got packed away, like, toilet paper, body wash, salad, razor for my legs, hair stuff, and some girly basics.....$200??? Really?? Its so much funner to shop when you dont NEEED stuff.

Well, due to timing, I had to ride home with my daughter instead of jog home but oh well, that will have to do. We got back to the house we were staying at and oh boy, what a mess. I had to start cracking the whip getting everyone to pick up their beds, and their messes. Thank you to Heather Walters for bringing that spaghetti the night before, there was enough for lunch today, saves me about $30 to $40 each meal! We had a family discussion on how to spend Christmas Eve. My brother Tim and his family in St. George had taken all of our Christmas gifts and wrapped them, stuffed our stockings for us, and planned a late birthday party for Talia so we had to go to St. George. If we stay overnight with them, we can keep our cute little yorkie puppy with us.....if we come home tonight and have Christmas Eve here in this house, we get to be together just our family but we dont get to have our puppy with us. We opted to be spoiled by my brother and his awesome wife Sue and their 5 great kids! They made a list of the things we had, wrapped them and numbered them and stuffed our stockings with our favorite things! What a blessing! We got to their house in St. George about 3pm and had Talia's bday party, then we ran to have a little dinner party with Keven's family, very fun. Then we came back to Tim's and both families watch The Grinch while Kev and I figured out how we wanted to do things.....Well, fought about how to do things......thanks for turning the t.v. up loud, sue! We all slept together in one room (made it kinda hard to sneak around but we managed). And really it was so nice to have a nice simple Christmas, the basic p.j.s and one gift. Stuffed stockings and cold cereal. So nice.

Im finding that its not hard to fall asleep, the problem is staying asleep, and if I wake, getting my brain to shut off with all that is going on. Where is this, what about Monday, what happend to kates books, where are the back packs, I really need to get the dirty clothes out of my car, will I ever get a warm bath again? I wonder if I can have one of those cool wholes in the counter top to throw garbage in?

And then there is the marriage part. Isnt this where the man just looks at the woman with the look that says, "I love you and I know we are going thru a lot, just pick whatever you want for the kitchen and carpet....." because really, does it matter? But no! Every time I say one little thing about what I want, he is like, No, we're not doing that. And he fights with me! I cant even beleive it! Like I want purple paint or something! I mean I asked about moving the kitchen sink.......just a question, i mean we have talked about some of the things int he house that we dont like and I just thought this would be a good time to consider how to make that happen, and he just got beligerant like I was asking for the moon........Well ya know what, some guys would be offering the moon after all of this! Dork! I know there is a lot more to moving the kitchen sink than I even realize but communication bucko! Not just flat out jerk mode........I swear Im gonna need medication to save our marriage not our house!

Okay on the other hand, I have to take into account that he has been very understanding with everything else. We are both very very tired, and stressed and are living out of our cars, and worried about the effects of this, as well as the out come. Its Christmas time and basically we are hating life, so, all that included, I guess I could realize that their will be a few fights. I love you honey but trust me, just let me pick the cabinets, counters, and flooring I want........you dont have to stand in the kitchen all day. And I'm sure he is thinking, oh my gosh, she is picking carpet and cabinets already! They havent even gutted the house yet! But really, what else can I do? I know that if I do my homework now, and research all I can about colors and combinations that I will be better able to make a decision later.....besides, what does it hurt to let me talk about it and think about it, we all have a different way of processing things and thinking abou the next step is what is getting me through all this....... patience.......I gotta have patience. Something my mother did not pass down to me.

Merry Christmas Eve!